You have a date coming up… you even agreed on a fantastic first date idea and you’re really looking forward to it. The problem? You don’t know how to calm down social anxiety and get rid of the racing thoughts, nervous demeanor, sweaty palms, and difficulty talking. Dating with social anxiety may even make you a people-pleaser instead of being your authentic self.
Dating with social anxiety can be tough, but that’s why we put together this article. That way, you can learn how to deal with social anxiety dating and actually enjoy the date instead of constantly worrying.
I’m going to share tons of great dating anxiety Reddit tips, therapeutic strategies, research-based tools, and much more, but first, how does social anxiety affect relationships and dating?
How Does Social Anxiety Dating Affect Relationships?
A first date is typically about making some kind of connection with another person. Whether it’s a shared interest, a few laughs, or sexual attraction, making that initial connection is key to moving into a second date and beyond. When dating someone with social anxiety, it becomes much harder to make that first all-important connection.
But social anxiety doesn’t just impact dating, it can impact all relationships by impeding your agency and ability to create bonds and strong connections. Negative self-talk can make it hard for you to be yourself, communicate confidently, or focus on the date or conversation at hand.
That being said, while some people with social anxiety never dated, tons of people with social anxiety disorder have wonderful dating experiences, romantic relationships, and a fulfilling love life.
The first step to learning how to date with social anxiety is to tackle the social anxiety itself. Additionally, you can do things to make the first date seem less scary, which can help you learn how to deal with social anxiety as well.
How to Deal With Social Anxiety and Dating
There are lots of great ways to deal with social anxiety before, during, or after a first date.
Here are some of the best things you can do for social anxiety disorder dating.
Take Care of Yourself
It’s important to take care of yourself and doing so can help with social anxiety. For example, you can exercise to calm your muscles, boost your mood, reduce stress and anxiety, and help you feel more confident. Eating healthy foods and avoiding excessive caffeine and alcohol can also help.
Use Affirmations
Positive self-talk and affirmations can help you conquer the annoying thoughts of negativity that come with social anxiety. Some good affirmations for social anxiety include “I am confident,” “I am relaxed,” “I like first dates,” and “I look forward to meeting and getting to know new people.” While it may take some getting used to, these types of affirmations for social anxiety can be highly effective.
Try Meditation
Did you know that mindfulness meditation classes can help you learn how to calm the body and mind and learn how to overcome social anxiety? To get started with meditation for social anxiety, simply close your eyes, concentrate on your breathing, and relax. Then, watch the thoughts pass through your mind without judgment. If you notice yourself thinking about a thought, then refocus on your breathing.
While this might be hard to do during a first date, it’s a great tool for before and after, and doing it regularly can help you be more mindful and relaxed even when you’re not meditating.
Dating for Social Anxious People
Now that you know how to deal with social anxiety, you can also use some of these social anxiety date ideas and other tips for dating for socially anxious people.
Don’t Drink Too Much
While we all know that a drink or two can help calm the nerves and figure out how to talk to guys when you have social anxiety, overdoing it can worsen anxiety. So, try to limit to a drink or two and make sure you’re date is comfortable with drinking.
Don’t Hide It
You probably don’t want the first thing you tell your date to be that you’re socially anxious, but if you start feeling overly anxious then it’s best not to hide it. Most people will understand and you may be surprised to learn that your date is also feeling very nervous about dating with social anxiety. Plus, if they don’t understand then you probably want to find someone who does (though you can still be adult friends!).
Choose Ideas for a First Date for Social Anxiety
Some first-date ideas are better than others when you’re trying to figure out how to date with social anxiety. For ideas for dating with social anxiety, Reddit is a good choice.
Some great first date ideas for people with social anxiety include dinner and a movie (a classic choice, but means you don’t always have to make eye contact or talk because you’ll be eating and in a quiet theater) or an active experience (concerts, plays, or hikes can all be a great way to distract your social anxiety).
Practice, Practice, Practice
Yeah, this might not be that helpful right now, but it’s true. When dating with social anxiety, one of the best things you can do is to keep on trying. Sure, that might mean a bad social anxiety date or two, but as you keep practicing, you’ll get better and learn how to calm down social anxiety. Before you know it, you’ll be having more fun with every date!
Conclusion
Learning how to deal with social anxiety about a first date might seem like a massive task when you experience racing thoughts, sweaty hands, shaky nervousness, and overwhelming anxiety. However, you might find that affirmations and meditation for social anxiety can be beneficial and that eating healthier and exercising often helps you conquer your social anxiety for good. Then, make sure you choose first-date ideas and activities that are good for social anxiety dating.
If you need help dating with social anxiety, then MindBar has the perfect classes. Not only do we have classes to help you reduce stress and anxiety, but we also have classes on navigating relationships, communication, and a plethora of other topics. Click here to sign-up and start improving your social anxiety and relationships today!